There's something vaguely humiliating about being sixteen and having your mom tell you to make sure you wash your butt really good. What, like I don't know how to wash my ass? But of course, that was just the stress and I'd never, ever say such a thing out loud, but still ... I was going to need a pill pretty soon. This was driving me insane."After your bath, put on your new clothes, Dani," Mom told me before closing the door behind her. "Brush your hair and put on some makeup too; use mine, okay?" I can use your makeup?" I was surprised at that.I had some of my own, but very little and none of it was serious. Like bubble gum lipstick and some rouge, glitter eye shadow. It was all kid's stuff and I always wanted to wear the real stuff, but Mom always said I was too young."Just don't overdo it." She nodded. "All you really need is some lipstick; see if I have one that matches your new skirt." Okay, sure." That was actually the first bit of good news I'd heard all afternoon, but it was. .. , “ Oliver Stack declared, “and I’m ... Stick’s lover. He’s married, too.”“You must not mind chaw stains or something!” Aunt Molly mocked him while Uncle Curtis and the rest of us laughed.“Apparently, neither does his wife!” I added, getting a wide-eyed stare from Stick.“I’m married, too,” Neil Purdy conceded, “and I’m screwing, or was, Stick’s wife.”“Wow, this here’s a hillbilly soap opera!” Erin snorted now.“That’s okay. I was banging Neil’s wife myself,” Kieran admitted now, “and Oliver’s. And my own, of course.”“I was ... completely faithful to Mary Anne,” Jim Bob Current declared without any righteous pomposity such as he might usually attach to such claims.“And she to you, oddly enough, but that won’t last anymore,” Gavin interjected now, “also, Oliver’s wife is what you rustics refer to colloquially as the ‘town tramp,’ not that I judge. She’s very promiscuous already, due to apparent nymphomania, or as some call it, hypersexuality. We spirits dislike that term, as it.
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