What joy he did find, he found with Helen. She seemed to be accepting andunderstanding but he could sense a certain distance, a wall if you will,had been erected protecting herself from his inner woman.He treated her royally and maintained his posture as the man of the house.To admit any weakness was simply taken as a sign of failure. "I thought Imarried a man, not a woman," she had said to him more than a few timesbefore the therapy sessions had begun. Mark hated himself for his urgesand desires.At 6'2" and just a little over 200 pounds, there was nothing feminineabout his appearance. It was all in his head. It finally got to a pointwhere he thought he'd go mad. On a wintry Sunday afternoon, he came hometo find a note from Helen telling him that she'd taken Danny and gone outfor the afternoon and would be home sometime around six.He'd been hoping that they'd be able to spend the afternoon together.Still, it had been a rough week and the thought of taking a nap soon overrode any sense. "Melissa, Ms. Horne has requested your services. She has left instructions for you to wait outside her bedroom door until she calls you in. Here take these towels with you."Standing at her door I found myself nervously wondering how this scene would play itself out. I could not hear inside but imagined that her lover was still in there. I knew that I would not call off this adventure here and now. I would see this through. I had been indulged and I was feeling that as my wife's maid I really had only one reason for my employment, to service my mistress and see that her every want was fulfilled. As her husband, however, I felt jealous and a bit anxious. I calmed myself by remembering what Sarah had told me. My wife wasn't going to leave me. She was only giving in to fleshy desires and secret fantasies. There would be an end to all this soon and a return to our former status. Smiling I imagined that we would have many juicy stories to share of our individual and coupled.
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