She didn't think the leaders would approve and any 'bad conduct' would be reported to her parents.However one thing I came to learn about Nan was that she had a taste for conspiracy and was always good for a dare. We therefore laid our plans.The camp was laid out on the site of an ancient Maori 'pa, ' or fortified village called 'Maunga Tapu, ' or Sacred Mountain. It was on a promontory of a bay surrounded on three sides by water.Although it was called a 'mountain, ' it was hardly higher than a dozen metres. The old Maoris had levelled the ground and tipped the spoil down the sides to form a steep bank. 200 years ago the bank would have been topped with a pallisade and ditch and would have been virtually impregnable from the sea.Nowadays, the bank was a grass slope dropping to a narrow gravel road that lay between the bank and the water.Although the camp was surrounded by a chain-link fence, a gate gave access to a small beach on the seaward side.I announced to the leaders that I was. "It's too much, " I said, seeing how little she had kept for herself."You may need your strength more than me," she said. "Other girls inthis pen have seen you fight. They too may challenge you in days tocome." Oh, please no..." I couldn't bear the thought of losing another fight.But Kara forced the food into my hands."Please, have this." I can't... it won't make any difference... it won't. I'm not stronglike these girls." But I could see the respect she had for me in hereyes, and somehow I couldn't allow her to lose hope in me. "I'll do mybest," I said and chewed now on the pieces of wet bread. As I did so,Kara curled up beside me in the straw with her head in my lap. And onceagain I began to feel a warm glowing sensation in my loins - a feeling Ihad not had from the casual touch of a woman in quite a long time. I wasremembering what it was like to feel attracted to a woman. My male brainwas beginning to overrule my female body. I felt elated. This is what Iwanted - I wanted to be.
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