Life is shit right now as I try to see my way ahead to what my life might be like when I enter my senior year next year and have to see the dirty bitch again. Not that I'm holding this all inside, right?So, I'm moping down my breakfast one Saturday morning about two weeks after school let out, when my mother asks, "Isn't your camping trip next weekend?"Well, I didn't say, "I'm not going on that fucking camping trip because the dirty bitch dumped me like the whore she is."No, what I really said was, "Nah, since I broke up with Meghan, I'm not gonna go." I'll go," I heard. It was my sister, Julie, who was pouring some cranberry juice behind me."Oh, you're really not in shape and all, it's just too much physical activity," and figured that would be that."I think she should go if she wants, Kenny, after all she's your sister," my mother piped in.Well, now what do you say? You know I'm in deep shit if I turn this down, right? So, it turned out that I was still going on my three-day trek. I'd had no idea at the time just how good I had it.It wasn't that way anymore in 2004. We seemed to be drifting apart. Ellen's caring had seemed to shift to the kids, her passion toward her career. I was becoming increasingly worried about our future together -- if indeed there was to be one at all.My reverie was interrupted by a ringing phone. I walked down the hall to the washer and dryer, next to which the basement phone had sat forever. I hadn't heard the sound of a rotary dial phone in years. I'd forgotten how clunky they looked. You could even still see on the wall the spot when the old 4-prong connector had been mounted, before the phone company had converted everything a few years before. Next to the phone was a cheap orange plastic ashtray that someone had picked up at Expo '67, full of the white-tipped cigarette butts from the habit my Mom wouldn't kick for another year or two.Should I answer the phone? I hesitated, then laughed at myself. Why not? Since when was talking on.
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