The workers were dressed more shabbily and were dirtier than the fighters. The women's clothing was sometimes insufficient to cover them decently. We were observing through binoculars until Bennie pulled us to one side."Elroy, you will stay here hidden with the horses while Janice and I go closer. Is there some particular way we can spot your lady?" Maybe. Carrie is slim and as tall as I am. Her hair is light brown and is cut short. She wears an old man's shirt, light blue, tied at the waist and, last time I saw her, dark blue shorts with sneakers and no socks. Oh, she has light blue eyes." Okay, we'll do what we can. I don't want to get into a chase with these folks with so much daylight left but, if we see her and can possibly do it, we'll get her away. Janice, let's go. Carefully now."We began to sneak into town with a real risk of being seen. We had our guns on our shoulders and our bows ready. We would try quiet if we could. We found a building and entered it leaving no trace. This was in college, at the dawn of my ‘big man on campus’ days. I spent eleven months with this girl, and when I knew it was all over I slept with her one last time, and as invariably happened when I did that, she got pregnant. And as also invariably happened, she showed up at my door, prescription in hand, and asked only that I pay for half of the abortion. I was only too happy to comply, thanking God for Roe v. Wade and a woman’s right to choose. I was always highly in favor of that – not through any inherent nobility, only for my own fear of responsibility. I was grateful that a woman could look at me, look at her swelling womb, and decide ‘bad idea.’ I describe all this simply to point out that I was in no way an inherently heroic man. I was a human being, filled with faults and frailty, and consumed with the idea that I must fulfill my desires, and meet my expectations, if I was ever to live the life I dreamed of. And to this and I considered my own happiness paramount,.
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