After a few minutes Richard got up and without saying anything put on his underwear and trousers not saying a word to me other than hurry up we have to go as he got in the passengers seat leaving me to fold up the blankets and put them in the back of the van, I got in the drivers side and backed out of the trees and drove to the next shop with Richard not saying a word and treating me with his normal contempt once we had arrived I was not happy and vowed to myself that he was going to pay for that. The following week as I drove Richard to one of the shops he again started to talk sexually as he stroked my leg taking it for granted I would give him what he wanted and whilst the thought of allowing him to take me was appealing the dynamics of our relationship had to change as I could not allow him to have that kind of control over me so I asked him what he wanted, “the same as last week” he replied.“Do you want to fuck me?” I said. After a few moments he admitted what I already had. Things that she didn't want to and she couldn't stop it and it wasn't her fault and it didn't mean that she was a slut or anything like that cause she really couldn't help it and she really really tried to stop it but she just couldn't so it really didn't mean anything? Remember?"I reached over and tickled her sides, making her squeal. "Wow! And you said all that in one breath? Yes, I remember"."Well, I understood what you said, and I even agreed with it, but it just doesn't feel that way. I still feel dirty and awful. But I figured out why and what to do about it," she said proudly as her face brightened.I hate it when these girls figure something out. It is never good news for me."See, it's because I had such a bad experience for my first time which shouldn't have even happened yet and I felt so guilty and it was just terrible and it's all I have to remember and I have nothing to compare it to and every time I remember it is just so icky and I just think EWWWW and..." 'breathe,.
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