...pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!The Splash Back DumpThis one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now your wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.The c***dbirth DumpThis one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.The Machine Gun DumpBest utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in. He had placed a camera, so it faced down the Hall. It was located in the lab, and since we knew about it, we didn’t remove it when we did our bug sweep.We put a monitor on the wall so we could all observe who went in or out of her office. I also added a backup drive and recorded the day’s event, and we kept them. Normally such observations of our fellow teammates were a breach of the rules, but since it was part of a special protection detail, our arses were covered.We were happy for the boys to join us in the lab as they were of great assistance. They could easily identify items collected from their dome and the shuttle. They could also access other information for us when we queried anything that we didn’t have the immediate rights to use.Before shots and back-ups of the camera information that conveniently got lost were put back into our files so we could do our job. Major Zaman even sent me all the recordings and documentation associated with the disposal of the weapons, to see.
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