There was no way I wanted to deal with that, right then, so I said, "Colleen I have been awake off and on for a little while but the drugs had me so dopey I couldn't speak."I heard most of what was said and know that ... that ... she ... didn't ... you know, make it.' The tears accompanied my acknowledgement that my O.T.L. Beth Ann was dead. I couldn't stop crying and didn't want to. Colleen apparently agreed and laid her head on my chest, crying just as much as me. I couldn't speak without breaking down, so I held on tight and we cried together.Colleen finally got ahold of herself and - still sniffling - said she needed to call her parents and Rebecca to tell them I was awake. It was then I realized I was holding so tight she couldn't move. That embarrassed me and I stammered an apology thru the residue of my tears. The pain of losing Beth Ann was like a pile driver, hammering me somewhere deep inside. Each time my heart beat, I felt something like an echo that physically hurt. That. It seemed as lonely as she felt. She cried all that night while her father sat in the bed, rocking her.The next couple of days were worse still, seeing their coffins, their graves. High school friends, Mary’s parents, her math teacher, her coach, some of her old cheerleader squad all came to the funerals.After all the thank you’s were said, after the good-byes, after it was all over, Sandy lay on Mary’s old bed still curled in a ball.Dad came in and sat on the bed, “You know, this bed has a lot of memories. You and Randy were conceived here.”Sandy untangled herself and wrapped herself around her father. Her eyes red and sad. His filled with tears as he tried to hold them back.“Daddy, tell me, please tell me all about you and mom!”He smiled sadly and wiped their tears.“Our first time was here. This was a forbidden place to me at that time.”“Looking at you, at 17, at your eyes, your face, I see Mary just as she was at 17.”Sandy cried and hugged her father tightly. They cried together.
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