"Has Jamie told you he'll have to work late today and on Thursday,"I nod and say: "7.30." I'll try to get someone else will do it on Friday, I imagine you andJamie will have something to celebrate," she says with a wink."Anyhow I'm giving him a 20 minute break this arvo, because he's workingso late and doing an 11-hour shift. He's such a great sport for doingthat."Justine mentions that human resources might be coming to talk to himtomorrow afternoon. Would I like to be there?I tell her I'll move heaven and earth to be there with him."You're such a wonderful girlfriend, I'm so glad he's in good hands,"Justine says, again rubbing my arm.She says she'll keep in touch to let me know the exact time.We get back to the office. As soon as Justine tells Jamie it's his turnto take a break he rushes to me and give me a hug.I struggle a little bit not to spill the takeaway coffees I have ineither hand, while he's hugging me."This is such a wonderful surprise Caitie," he says kissing me.I look. My tears did not ease though. It felt like forced subjugation ratherthan any voluntary pleasure giving. I hadn't asked him to attempt to eatme out, and it was a dismal failure any way. But he was demanding thisfrom me.My former identity too, was screaming in protest at the notion."Okay. If that's what you want." It seems I don't have a choice."Oh it's what I want. Now come around here, get on your knees and undomy pants bitch." Please don't call me that." But I comply to his instruction. This seemslike how it's going to be. Me, cooking and cleaning and performingsexual acts on demand. Like some sort of sex slave. If not an actualslave slave.Its seems Kevin's disrespect for women, or maybe just for me as aperson, is a far bigger issue than I anticipated.I feel so forlorn as I undo his trousers. I know I have to condense myrevulsion into a corner of my brain and just do what he wants. I want touse a condom so I don't have to endure having that stuff squirted in mymouth, but it's pretty.
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