Neither of us are in the mood for subtleties, so you let loose your lips upon me, lapping up my juices, running your tongue up and down my slit, your fingertips reaching for my clitoral hood and pushing it back, letting your tongue flick and tease and lick, feeling my body shudder over you with each swift movement. You feel my leg wrap over my shoulder, as you push in deeper. Your lips kissing and nibbling, your tongue flicking and licking, my juices flowing all over your mouth.You hear me let out a guttural moan and you can’t take it anymore. you stand up, pushing me off your shoulder, rising face to face with me. My breasts, still in the black bra push against your chest, as you feel my heavy breathing on your lips. My hands travel down, undoing your pants, getting them off, much faster than we did mine. My eyes never leave yours. Once you’ve been released, you grab my wrists roughly, and twist me around. I gasp. You grab them again, and pin them against the back of the couch, your. The woman proves to be very talented, and wins on the last hole. Afterwards, she accepts the man’s offer of a lift home and, on the way, admits she hasn’t enjoyed herself so much for a long time.“In fact,” she says, “why don’t you pull over so I can show you how much I appreciate it.”So the man pulls over and, to his delight, the woman performs oral sex on him. They arrange to play golf again the next morning. Once again the woman wins, and she shows her appreciation in the same way on the journey home.This goes on all week, until Friday, when the man reveals he has booked dinner at a restaurant and a night of passion in a hotel. On the way there, the woman suddenly bursts into tears.“I can’t do it,” she says, “You see, I’m a transvestite.”The man is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, and pulls the car to a screeching halt.“You fucking cheat!” he screams. “You’ve been playing off the ladies’ tees all week.”Q: How do you know when you’re really ugly?A: Dogs close their eyes.
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