Breathing his scent in deeply. Memorizing it very well. I couldn't lie to him. Not Yoda. Swallowing down the fear of losing him, I contemplated how to tell him. He trusts me to tell him exactly what happens when he gets drunk. I couldn't face him ever again, if I were to lie to him. “I told you to sit down a few times. You kept saying no. Finally, I went to push you back into the chair and you grabbed my shirt. I fell down with you. You said “See, I'm a good boy. I sat down.” Then the dogs started fighting and you tossed me to them. I got up and sat on the couch. You looked at me and stood up. Leaning over me, you said “oh really now.” I knew that by pulling your shirt. Instead of getting mad, you leaned down. I kissed you and you responded back. I had a hold of your pants and you told me to go ahead. I told you that I would stop when ever you say so. You smiled and said “say so” then got this puzzled expression because I stopped. Then you forced me onto your dick. You pulled back. This wasn’t something I wanted us to be at all the time. But, yes, I found I could from time to time enjoy very much being in the driver’s seat, the dominant female with a male to use for her amusement and pleasure. Patrick liked it, too. Well, all right, let’s not say ‘liked.’ But he said he was fine with the premise: that he had risked the little humiliations and degradations I had subjected him to in the hope of winning something he very much wanted. He had simply lost and had to pay-off. And he did so honorably. It was not the night he would have chosen, but he was all right with honoring his bet and accepting his role. When we had discussed the experience afterward he said he, of course, would have preferred to win, but that the little exercises I had put him through were entirely bearable, and that he would risk them again for the right to put me in a position to be compelled to honor a disagreeable, but hardly impossible, lost bet. In the intervening few months we'd pursued.
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