He closed hiseyes, not really believing what he was now doing."You are doing a wonderful job with this, Rod. I find it hard to believethat this is your first time doing this. Now open your eyes and look upat me while you are sucking on this."Rod quickly obeyed Lucille and opened his eyes and looked up longingly ather. "You know, I think that the way you are dressed now and are havingso much fun with this dildo I really think that we have to call yousomething other than Rod now. I think that from now on your name shouldbe Roxanne. How do you like the sound of that Roxanne?" He nodded hishead as he continued to bob up and down on the shaft.Lucille knew that she had him now. He was really going to town on thatdildo like it was the real thing. "All right Roxanne. I think that youare well prepared for that. Now let's move back over to the bed." As theymoved over to the bed, Lucille gave Rod's, now Roxanne's, butt a littleslap as she looked very inviting in her nightie and thong. It was my mother. I started shaking inside when I heard her hoarse voice. "It's cancer."The words didn't make sense, for some reason I couldn't comprehend what she was telling me. Cancer? How could she have cancer? She was only 45 years old. Sure she was a smoker, but her lung x-rays were always clear. Her doctors joked that she had some sort of gene that repelled the damage of the nicotine.Cancer. For some reason I couldn't seem to breathe. I could feel this tremendous pressure in my breast.It was a large mass in her chest pressing against her heart, lung, and throat. So that was why she couldn't seem to swallow some days, I realized. I thought of my dream and asked her how they found the mass, thinking it was an x-ray or CT scan of her chest.It was a scan of her head, of her brain. They found three small spots on the brain tissue. Brain cancer... When I realized how serious this all was suddenly I found myself compartmentalizing, something at which nurses excel. Part of me was.
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