"Do it," she hissed."What do you have there?" Caroline said.I averted my gaze from her and I said, "Its a girdle. It's your girdle.I'm so sorry Aunt Caroline. When we were just here I took your girdle." A girdle? The thing you stole is a girdle?" Caroline said withamazement."You see, its your girdle. I took it from upstairs where I found it ina drawer."I opened up the folded girdle so she could see what it was. She said,"my underwear? You stole my underwear? My girdle? Why did you want mygirdle?"She looked into my eyes and I didn't know what to say. I said, "Iwanted a girdle and I didn't know where else to get one." But why do you want a girdle?" she said.She really seemed to not know why and I said, "I wanted to wear it. Iwas curious what it felt like to wear a girdle." Curious? Curious about my underwear? Why were you curious?" I don't know Aunt Caroline." Do you still want to wear my girdle?"I hesitated and Caroline said, "tell me."Disarmed I said, "well, yeah, I guess I still am. “Who am I?” is the major question in this step. People in this stage of the coming out process start to notice their attraction to same-sex people and really question what it means. Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships that are non- sexual.Step Two: Identity Comparison At this stage, a person may try to find an explanation for why they are having the feelings they are experiencing. "Maybe I am gay. Or maybe I’m bisexual.” Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder “Is this a phase?” “Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or is this going to be a.
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