‘Excellent idea.’ ‘I’m Kaiser Mattanthas, you’re Paige d’Lephant, currently a feature writer for the newspaper.’ ‘Correct, and I know nothing about you!’ ‘Correct.’ ‘So, what do you want me to know?’ I smiled. ‘What do you want to know?’ he countered, quirking an eyebrow. Oh God. He’s going to be difficult! ‘Vital statistics, job information, you know. The usual.’ ‘Oh really? Vital statistics are usual information?’ I snorted at his facetiousness. ‘Okay then. I’m twenty eight. I’m six-one, just under three hundred pounds.’ What? ‘But you look less!’ ‘So I understand. It’s mostly skeleton, but there’s some muscle, and an equal amount of fat, let me assure you!’ ‘I’d have to see that to believe it!’ ‘Perhaps some other time.’ Again, what??? ‘I live in Sweden and Scotland, but I was raised in Canada. I was born in Saskatchewan, actually.’ ‘That’s in Czechoslovakia, isn’t it?’ He roared with laughter before gracing me with a look of disgust. ‘I take it history and geography weren’t. "I just don't want to see an old friend make a mistake she may regret for the rest of her life. But I haven't walked a mile in your shoes..." Here's the deal, Derek – and you have to SWEAR you'll never tell ANYBODY. Okay?" Okay – sure, Holly."She looked into my eyes, and I could see her sobriety visibly returning. She released my hand. "Okay, Derek – it's like this. I was raised by very intelligent but very screwed-up parents." Nothing unusual about that last part," I laughed.She didn't laugh in return. "Do you want to hear what I have to say, or not?" she chided.I realized this was no time for feeble humor. "Sorry, Holly – go ahead." It's okay, Derek. I don't mean to be rude. I just really need to get this off my chest."I resisted the immediate urge to look down at the part of her anatomy she had just named."I'm listening," I replied."My mom and dad always wanted the best for me. They pushed me in academics, in sports, in the fine arts. But they were – and still are – overbearing.
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