I could get my book and just leave and nobody would know I had even been here, especially my handsome math teacher, Mr. Sanderson. He always looked at me so funny like, making me feel all hot and quivery. He had a smile and a wink for me every time we talked and I liked him very much. At 18, I had a boyfriend but I would only let him touch me sometimes and I would get that same hot and quivery feeling when he did. I stopped at the pay phone to call my Mom and tell her that I was spending the night at Cindy's house, and then I called Cindy and told her that I could not come over tonight as I had too much math homework to do. She bitched about it, but I told her not to call me because I was going to be studying and did not want to be disturbed. I giggled when I hung up the phone, thinking that I would have a great adventure staying all night at the school by myself. Running down the halls and jumping and skipping, just acting like a crazy kid, laughing and singing. I knew my desire this time was not for Margaret, but for knowledge of her, the woman who had been an increasingly vital part of my life for several years, but about whom I knew little more than I did from Sarah's description and my first impressions.She never ever spoke of personal matters, and even though, since September we had talked often and long, it was mostly discussion, debate, the imparting and analysis of knowledge - or exquisite sexual teasing - that dominated the topics. Despite Margaret's potential wrath I tweaked the card from the envelope.'Happy Christmas darling Em, lots of love from Mummy.'Shocks number two and three, how could Margaret with all her formality submit to a pet name, and why had I never in all the time I'd know her, ever considered that she must have a family? And finally, the words, 'lots of love from Mummy.' That was all it took to break me. I began to shake uncontrollably. Emotions that I had buried under selfish fun and sexual depravity erupted as.
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