’You put down, ‘Neither do I.’”This one is compliments of Pepere:God and Lawn Care:GOD: Frank, ... You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.St. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.GOD: Grass? But, it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds, and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It’s sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing. I am the only one who knows how to get you everything on that list.”“YOU SHOULD BE WITH ME.” I liked the sound of it. I knew she meant helping me with groceries and stuff, but the idea gave me instant hardness. I realized I was hard when she was lightly smiling on the shelves.I stole a few glances at the girls behind me to hide my real intentions. She muttered under her breath ‘Naughty Boy’. I acted like it didn’t reach my ears.We went shopping and striking off all the items on the list except for the bucket and mug. We had to go four floors up, to the storeroom. The wooden door’s hinges creaked a little bit at our entrance. She said, “All yours, dear.”I looked at a pool of buckets struggling to pick one up. And suddenly, two hands slid under my arms and grabbed my shoulders. I turned around and looked into my aunt’s eyes.She said, “I meant it when I said you should be with me,” and slid her fingers into my pants, “You were hard for me then, aren’t you?” I confessed, “Yes,” and.
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