No fantasies. No plans. Needed to be spontaneous. Needed to be, just be. Oh pins and needles, pins and needles. I decided to meditate. I put a chair in the doorway to the balcony and feeling the Gulf breezes, sat, nude, and began my ritual of calming self awareness. As I began my mantra, thoughts streammed in, uncontrollably: Oh, she is coming, 0h, what will she think? Did I disappoint last night? Oh, what did she think? Will she come? Yes she will come. Should I go pick her up? No, she can get here. Oh what will she think? Oh, what will she think observing me, experiencing me for the first time? For the first time: only get one chance to make a first impression. Oh, will she enjoy my touch: does she crave me as I her, is it important for her to do so. Is it possible to do so? Is it desirable to do so? Distinct I’s, we met in the ethereal never never land of our imaginations. Assisted by photos, assisted by words, assisted by trust, assisted by loneliness, assisted by something. While I was making the drinks Jill came into the kitchen where I was, and I asked her, “Did you like the show?” She stood there for a few seconds and then she said, “Yes I did, I really did.” At that moment Jill asked, “Do you think I’m attractive?” I looked at her and said, “Yes you are. You are tall, with beautiful dark hair. You have a nice figure, and the sexiest green eyes.” She smiled and then I said, “Someone would have to be crazy, if they didn’t find you attractive.” She said, “Thank you, that really makes me feel better. I better get out of here before mom comes in and finds out I’m home.” Then she walked over to me and gave me a kiss, slowly sliding her tongue in my mouth. I was shocked at her action, until she broke the kiss and said, “I want what you gave mom.” My eighteen year old stepdaughter shocked me, I didn’t know what to say. Then she kissed me again and headed out the door. I made the drinks and headed back out to the pool. Donna and I sat and drank them,.
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