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‘Good evening,’ said Colonel Vashti who was struggling to recall what the various insignia might mean. She stopped and saluted, aware of the strange sight she made with her penis now inappropriately erect and more than half a metre long. ‘Have you anything to report?’ The soldier gazed at the naked colonel in consternation. For a moment, Vashti wondered whether he might not just be another Apparition. ‘Come on, soldier,’ said the colonel. ‘What’s the problem?’ ‘Your eye, sir,’ said the soldier. ‘Oh,’ said Vashti, belatedly aware that it had somehow worked its way out of its socket and was dangling over her cheek. With a matter of will she retracted it back into the socket which must have further alarmed the soldier. ‘Never mind that. What’s the overall situation?’ ‘Anarchy, sir. Absolute chaos. There’s no order at all. Everyone’s seeing these weird Apparitions, sir. And they’re solid. They’re real. They can even kill.’ ‘Kill?’ ‘A whole cohort of Roman soldiers suddenly. Everything kept running through his mind. Stopping kids from beating John up behind the school in third grade. Winning a state basketball championship with him in high school. Deciding to move into the dorms with him instead of moving into Dean’s fraternity. Meeting Amanda at the first college party he went to. Spending every afternoon with her after class and spending a lot of those afternoons in his bed. Even giving up most of his female friends because she was so jealous. Apparently the bitch wasn’t the one who should’ve been worried about cheating. Finally pulling his head out of the toilet, Dean washed his mouth out and hopped in a shower to try and wash the disgust off of himself. What a waste of a year of college. All the other girls at parties I could’ve been with and I chose the cheating whore! Letting the air dry himself and his heart still beating rapidly, Dean realized just how badly he needed to calm himself down. .
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