I knew what Bobby wanted, and what Bobby wanted Bobby got. He had been perfectly clear from the beginning. He wanted me to have this baby. It was all over for me. My appointment at the woman’s clinic had passed while I was still in bed with Bobby this morning. I had missed it without cancelling. No need to think about seeing a doctor again about it. They clearly told me it was my last legal window to have an abortion even with the special exceptions. My options were gone. In some ways I felt relieved. I was now going to do one very right thing among all the wrong things. I looked down at my obvious tummy. It was evident even with the robe. It was early October. I would be having a black baby in about five months. Jamal was going to be a father. We needed to talk very soon. He was going to wonder what happened to me. He was going to be so confused. My relationship with him going forward was a big unknown, but my past “relationship” with him was clearly evident and growing inside me. He had learned to be wary of obvious come-ons in female names. Far too often they turned out to be men. Hi, how are you? he messaged. Always keep it polite. Don't mention sex until she does. On he went, with the usual introductory banter. My name is Phil. I'm from San Jose, California. Twenty-seven years old. whats ur ethnicity, she asked. Assuming it really was a she.What makes you ask that?just tell me, she replied.Calm down, he reminded himself. Stay positive. But how could he? In dating rooms it was this that often finished him off. Black or white? they'd ask. Sometimes they simply vanished on hearing his answer. Other times it was the photo that sent them packing.I'm Asian, he wrote.oh great whats ur skin colorWhat did this mean? People in China or Japan or Korea are white, if the actual pigment in their skin counts for anything. But someone with black hair and narrow eyes doesn't count as white, in the sense that people now use the word. Race is a social construct, not.
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