Caring for me.But she left me to go to Gary, to get love from Gary. I tried to hate him, but I couldn't. Gary had saved me. Gary had brought me to Moira. Gary was letting me stay.I imagined the two of them together in his bed. Her long red hair, his warm smile, his eyes. His eyes! I could see them kissing. I could feel her breasts. I tried imagining Moira at the aft rail like Kate, and Gary behind her. No. That didn't seem like her. Moira wouldn't want something so impersonal.Kate had been getting fucked, I realized. I'd never understood the word like that before. Kate was getting fucked, but Moira would want to be loved. I wanted to be loved.My imagination raged, picturing the two of them – Gary and Moira – together. I could almost feel it. Tongues and caresses and – what would fucking feel like? No, what would loving feel like?With a panic, I realized I was playing with myself and moaning. And then I remembered that my father wasn't here to catch me at it. Nor his ... his bitch of. He had a horrible answer.The entire treatment was experimental. The chemicals were new and the levels of radiation were very high. She had to leave Dara with close friends and she went down to Houston to the cancer center there. The treatments were harsh, she screamed out in pain, but she never, ever quit or gave up. She was a fighter.The question was could Erin get her wife to fight through this? She was terribly hurt, more than Erin had realized. Lynn talked in her sleep that night and she was angry. When she woke up, Erin was hoping that she had worked out her anger in her dreams. Inside her dreams, Lynn had all the time in the world to be pissed and violent and angry, and to heal. Erin finally fell asleep.I have woken up with a hangover before, but this morning was the worst. I had really tied one on the day before yesterday and yesterday when I woke up in jail, I was hungover. This morning, waking up in my own bed, with my wives, was worse. This morning, I woke up next to two.
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