‘No, I want you now,’ but even as she said it I could sense that she was tapping her reserves. ‘Climb on my back. I’ll carry you to your room.’ I managed the stairs with Juliette dead-weight, I loved feeling her body draped on me. I laid her on the bed and said in a careful, almost parental tone: ‘I’m going to undress you and tuck you in. You sleep up here tonight and I’ll take the bed in the sunroom off the kitchen. Come down whenever you wake up tomorrow. I’m really excited about being with you.’ I took off her shoes and socks, then lightly rubbed her feet. I unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off. She reached up and kissed me again. I just held her for awhile, slowing kissing her neck and behind her ears. I unbuttoned her shirt, then held her breast in my hand as her nipples stiffened and she put her legs around mine. I leaned her back into the bed as I pulled the covers and brought them over her. She started to protest, but gave in as I sat on the outside of the light blanket. I. ‘What the hell is happening to me?’ I thought. ‘Am I losing my mind? One minute I hate him, next I love him!’ I unlocked the door and came out of the bathroom. Tucker was working with some fine steel wool at the water ring on the table, trying to remove the stain. ‘See, it’s almost gone,’ he said. He stood up, taking me in his arms. I stood there, shaking and crying, the tears running down my face, as I sobbed into his chest. ‘Tucker, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening to me. These mood swings are killing me! What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening?’ ‘Kattie, I’m not sure what’s wrong, but for the past two months, you’ve been a different person. Let’s talk about this. What’s changed?’ We sat on the couch and talked, as I continued to cry. ‘Kattie, are you unhappy living with me? Is it something I’m doing?’ he asked. No, that wasn’t it. He’s the same I guy I had come to know and love and his actions and emotions hadn’t changed. Was it a reaction to sharing someone else’s.
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