Momma and I decided we would cover the venue and the catering. You, sir, get to cover the bridal gown, tux, and honeymoon. You need to sit with both of them and decide who the unlucky lady is.”“The one who doesn’t marry me?”“No, lug nut. The one who does.”“My buddy.”“Why are we meeting in our safe room?” Carly asked.“Because we’re having our first family meeting since we married and I felt it should be in our home. This is the only spot other than my office that has furniture. I thought our first should be in a neutral space.” Kevin said as he wrote into a leather-bound book.“What’s that?” Meghan asked.“Two things. I wrote down the day and time, so I could have a plague made and hung somewhere in the house as a keepsake. I’m also starting a family book that can be passed down of days and events. Momma has one, and I’ll copy hers out by hand and add to it then we pass it down.”“That’s cool!” Carly said: “Why are we meeting?”“We need to decide who’s having a public wedding. We are. “On his,” one may ask. Is this a sexist game? Absolutely.Spin the spinner. “Right Hand Blue,” so put your right hand on a blue dot of your choice.Spin again and your opponent makes his move.There can be no more than one hand or foot on any dot. If your hand or foot is already on a dot of the called color, you must move it to another dot of that color. If there’s no way to get your left hand to a yellow dot but to reach between your opponent’s legs, say, “Hope you don’t mind,” and he’ll act stone-faced as you rub against what’s there.Never remove your hand or foot from a dot, other than lifting it to allow another hand or foot to pass.The objective: “To outlast opponents by stretching and entwining your body like a human pretzel around a large vinyl sheet emblazoned with multicolored dots, without falling down.”The real objective, of course, is to have sex on the mat.Strategy? Move toward your opponent’s portion of the mat to force him to go over or under you. Over or under? We know.
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