” Seriously what the fuck did that mean?She looked at me and said nothing. “Dressing room is through here,” she said.“Thanks,” she left and shut the door. I dumped my gear, sat in the chair and stared vacantly in the dressing table mirror for 5 minutes. This won’t do, I said to myself and went to find Becky in the kitchen.“There is tea and coffee if you like,” she offered.“Thanks,” I brewed myself a tea. “Mind if I join you?”“Please,” she smiled, and I couldn’t help but warm to her.“I don’t know what to think,” I said. “About the site and everything.”“That’s okay. You agreed to do the scenes though so you must have some thoughts.”“Well, there is the money.”“Honey, there are girls who wouldn’t do this no matter how much money is on offer.”Okay, that was true. Although I figured if you put enough noughts on the end, most girls will let a tramp take a dump on them. Their mothers too.“I guess I’ll try anything once then,” I smile.Becky laughed. “I can relate to that.”“So how did you get. The paramedics had me transferred to the University Hospital, where I was sedated and kept under a suicide watch. When I came out the cops officially informed me that my wife and unborn child had been pronounced dead at the site of the crash. They told me that the driver had been thrown clear of the crash, had survived and was being held in custody. He'd been determined to be DWI (Driving While Intoxicated), and was going to be charged with two counts of vehicular homicide. Apparently the driver of the other car had also died.I barely heard them. Inside I was still linked with the feelings of our suffering and death. Round and round and round I went on that never ending ride from Hell.I was released after five days and Mom and Dad came out to get me and take me... home? I had no home anymore. The family, the happiness I'd made for myself had been ripped away. I was less than I'd ever been before. And I was still dying. Every second of every minute of every hour that passed, I died.
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