Except for one man! As the train stops and the doors open, he single mindedly lowers his head and powers through the masses like they were just not there – alighting passengers, pregnant women, war veterans with missing limbs – all are ignored and indeed trampled underfoot as he thrusts through the doors like a five year celibate bridegroom and secures the only vacant seat in the carriage. Mission accomplished, he produces a book from his briefcase and buries himself in it, completely indifferent to the resentment his uncouthness has aroused.Well, for the rest of the strap hangers who inhabit his carriage, the journey appears interminable. Richmond, East Richmond, Burnley, Hawthorn, Glenferrie, Auburn, the stations seem endless and the crush for standing room never eases off. But, by Box Hill, there is some breathing space and after Mitcham, there is actually one vacant seat. Which is where our inconsiderate buffoon finally lifts his eyes from his book and looks around the. How come Benny’s driving, is itbecause I gave you a blow job?”I said, “No, it’s because were buddies and we share ourstuff.”Patty reached over and rested her hand on the front ofmy jeans. Then she turned to Benny and starting givinghim a hand job inside his pants.Benny squealed, “Two hot ladies. Patty babe, you’refast, but Dick’s 32 screams!” He mashed the gas and wefishtailed onto the street.I asked, “Hey, want to make a pizza run? That surewould go good with that beer. You drive Benny, go aheadand open her up a little, but you get stopped you payfor the ticket. Hard as hell to sandwich a 427 sideoiler under this nose, kinda front end heavy. I thinkthat’s why she gets squirrelly over 130.”I bought two pizzas and we headed home. On the way,some guy wanted to drag. He tried to goad me and calledme a few names. As we cruised, the clown followed us. Iignored him. He passed me, speed off and drove like afool. Dumbass.
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