Eventually I had given up and gone for my morning warm-up run. I was talking to Mom and Allison before getting in the shower."I do understand that," Mom said. "And I understand that you're upset that you woke up and couldn't try to actually, what do you call it? Bridge her. But beating yourself up over it isn't going to help. You need to be thinking about what this means." What?" I asked, shaking my head, "I don't know what you mean."She shook her head and answered, "I don't know what I mean. Looking for a reason I guess. I don't know how all this works, how any of it works. Why would you not be able to reach her at night for two days but suddenly this morning she shows up?"Allison gave her head one of those funny twists as she thought about it, and then said, "Maybe she hasn't been asleep." What?" I asked."Maybe the whole reason you haven't been able to reach her is just so obvious we never even thought of it. Maybe the reason you couldn't reach her is that she wasn't dreaming,. The screen lights up brightly, hurting my eyes softly. The I see it. Four messages. All by 'Sabrina'. God. What the fuck did we do, honey, I ask myself. A swipe up reveals the contents of the messages:1st message: 'Dad, where are you?'2nd message: 'If you are scared, I won't tell mom or Jessica, anything!'3rd message: 'Just for my piece of mind: I don't regret it'4th message: 'I love you dad. Nothing will change that. We'll talk when you come back, k?'How can she say that, that she doesn't regret it? How could't she? I can't run away, I have to talk toher, this can't happen ever again! But I said this the last time. I close my eyes. I see her. On her back. Panting. Her legs spread, Me ramming into her. Our sweat mixing. The feeling of climaxing. Her beautiful green eyes looking deep into mine. And a shaking voice pleading "Yes dad, fuck me, please fuck me!' I did. That I did.***July 18th 2019:Work has been relentless. Returning from a trip abroad, I arrive at our house at the.
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