She wasn’t staring at me with quite the degree of horror I had grimly anticipated, but seemed merely disappointed. “Oh no,” she said, “not again.” “Hello,” I said, forcing a smile. “I don’t suppose you could undo these handcuffs, could you?” “Probably not,” said the woman, closing the door. “If I know my daughter then the key is down a drain somewhere. Suckered you in with her smelly pants, did she?” “Um... yes.” She tutted, came over to the bed and sat down beside me. “Well,” she said. “You’re not the first, and I doubt you’ll be the last. What’s your name?” “Danny,” I said. “I live here. In the next room.” “Oh yes,” she said. “We’ve talked on the phone, haven’t we. I’m Sandra. I’d shake your hand, but, well.” I shot her a humourless grin, and realised with some surprise that she was staring at my limp penis. To my absolute shock she then put a hand around it. “Quite a big boy, aren’t you Danny?” she said, smiling at me and squeezing gently. I grunted, trying to quell the erection. It's pretty cool in an old-world sort of way; as well as the normal business, science and humanities subjects, they include other electives that would be more at home in a Swiss finishing school, like deportment and etiquette. It's supposed to prepare us to be tomorrow's leaders of society – you'll never get the CEO's job if you serve him from the right instead of the left at a dinner party – or worse – you stand talking to his wife for half an hour with your slip showing. Hey, maybe there's something to it; I know I could stand to be a bit more lady-like. Most of the time it's pretty fun, but the teachers can be strict. Where other schools punish students for drugs and alcohol, our big problems are inappropriate language and bad posture.The trouble started this morning at the end of 2nd period when my teacher discretely passed me a note as I walked out. Yellow card: bad news – "Please report to the Headmistress at lunch bell." I knew what this was about: for academic problems you.
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