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But, at least they can say they've played there.St Mellion? Oh of course, dear boy, play there all the time.TPC Sawgrass? Yep, been there too. (Only on the Nintendo though).And so on. Lying bastards!I am no exception, sad to say. Related below is a blow by blow account of my miraculous game at Hindhead Golf Club, in the wilds of Surrey. Did you know it's a qualifying course for the open? Well it is or was and that should give you a clue about the degree of difficulty faced. (Bet you're hooked now eh?)Now, I am not going to give you all eighteen holes worth of tragedy, bad luck and mis-fortune suffered while in the company of two very good players, but I will relate a truncated and précis version, cutting out the swear words and many of the errant shots.Hole 1. Played off the yellow tees. Par 4. 401 yards long. Straight ... ish.The tee shot needs to have at least a 200 yard carry to get over the purple heather in front of you and down both sides of the fairway. My drive was anything. Look. I have my old account, and the reason it isn’t full of cash is that I’ve been paying myself less. The B&B is now richer than it’s ever been. Okay, that isn’t what I mean by a joint account. Still, there’s a difference between an account you pay into and never write a check on and an account you write checks on and never pay into.”“Well, you told me you filed a joint return,” Karen said. “How much was the total income of the two of you last year?”“I don’t know. Stu did the taxes. I told you that.”“He wrote it. Did you read it?”“Why no.” She trusted Stu. Besides, she’d been busy.“Did you sign it?”“Sure.” If anyone knew about taxes, Karen did. Jessie couldn’t figure out why she didn’t know that you had to sign the return.“Jessie, here.” Karen was in a typing chair, and she rolled over to a file cabinet and pulled out a blank 1040. “Read the words right over the signature line. You swore that you had read the return. That’s why I always show it to you and make you check it.
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