We hadtalked about this and rehearsed it a bit after dinner the other night.Now, I wasn't sure it was such a good idea. We were singing two lovesongs together, and I could feel my heart breaking already.Josh's guitar player started strumming the opening notes of 'Lucky',causing me to realize that I was about to step onto a stage without myown band for the first time in my career. The thought depressed meinstantly, but I didn't have time to reflect on those thoughts as Joshstarted to sing.There was a small cheer from the crowd when they recognized the song.The anticipation levels in the arena seemed to increase, too. They knewthis song was a duet, and they wanted to know whom Josh would besinging with. I stayed hidden in the shadows while he continued to singhis first verse.I didn't have long to wait until it was my turn. I took a few steps upthe stairs beforehand, but my first words were still sung while I wasin the darkness off stage. When I took another step I was on the stage,and. Had I become man enough not to fail that now?Was she not asking for the truth?“Well, yes, it is… in some regard,” I offered.Deliverance?“Why? How?” There was panic in her voice. Or perhaps not that but desperation. Or rather was it earnest? Could I find her own salvation?“Your giant boobs,” I simply said.Schmuck.“No. Don’t say that.”Maybe she might cry. Or wait for clarification.But, “I’m sorry,” was all I had to add. I wouldn’t know how to clarify my thoughts on things. What sort of information did I have? I’m fucking nineteen! The best I could do was make it clear that I’m not any better than whatever she thought she was less than.Her feet kicked out beneath the table as she redirected herself after me. Unintentional but she found my own foot there split to the side, quite wider than the width of the chair. Which she couldn’t expect I’d have any purpose for. “No. Don’t say that either.”I let her foot identify mine. Why it might be in that stance. And where might the other one be?.
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