"Mum, please talk to me."Still keeping her back to me, she whispered."He's gone Jamie, he's filing for divorce."What could I say? What could anyone say?Tears coursed down over her cheeks as I turned her round to face me."I want to hold you, mum."She nodded, "Please."As soon as I wrapped my arms around her, she began sobbing uncontrollably, her whole body shook and she trembled.Sarah took her away from me with a smile of understanding and helped her into a pair of shorts, it seemed right somehow that she should be dressed."Give us a few minutes Jamie," she said and with an arm around her sister's waist, led her back into the kitchen.To this day, I don't know what made me do it, but I picked mum's phone up from where she'd dropped it and hit dad's number,"Look, Suzy," he began, but I shut him up,"It's me, dad." Oh hi, James." Please spare me the politeness dad," I said. "Like you, I can't stand bullshit, mum's hurting and hurting bad, so from now on, any communication you have with her. I had glared down at the dazzling diamond on my left finger when I met him and had decided to take the path most dangerous, and also most traveled.The pain that life wasn't what it promised to be, what I'd wanted, and that I'd gone along with it with eyes wide open was far more terrifying. And interesting. I could turn around and fuck another man and feel only a faint burn of regret that Mark would finally have proof I could be a villain, too. What did that say about any of us?When I parked my car in front of Patricia's perfect house, I realized I was doing just what Mark accused me of—I was forcing him into the role of the villain, blaming him for fucking some faceless woman he'd never love, either. Someone I didn't envy, if she did exist, because I'm sure she loved him, the gilded illusion he was. She probably figured he was displeased with me, that he turned to her because of carnal need rather than boredom, and maybe she even let herself hope he'd leave me for her. How happy.
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