I try to put in four to eight hours a day at New Man U., just handling all the things that have to be handled in the life of a college. Even New Man U. has things that have to be dealt with.So I have me an office, a workstation, a laser printer. I feel like I'm back at AWC but have moved up a step in middle-management. I'm not complaining. As I said, someone has to do this shit. Might as well be me.I have a few administrative assistants under me, figuratively speaking. I'm pretty sure that at least one of them would like it to be more than figurative, if you know what I mean.Every woman who works at New Man U. is a D-generation twin from the President on down. That's a little freaky. Well they are here anyway supporting their kids. I can't think of many other colleges where the students have their mommies with them. I'm just being a grump. I hate doing all of this paperwork.So Doris Fleming is one of my Administrative Assistants. I mean, what is it with this job terminology today?. Her hand fluttered to her mouth. "What did they tell you?" Well, she's fine. It's, ah, me. They tell me I'm shooting blanks. A natural born, perfect vasectomy poster boy, that's me. Sperm count, minus 14 or something." I don't understand," June said. "You had a vasectomy and you're trying to have children?"I turned to my wife, who can be a little thick at times. "No, dear, he didn't have a vasectomy. It's just as though he had a vasectomy, but it's natural." I didn't want to say it, but I wasn't sure she understood. "He's sterile." I turned to Pete. "Isn't there anything they can do?" Oh sure. For $7000 I can have an operation which has a 10% chance of being successful, and has a 10% chance of leaving me impotent. No thanks. For $15,000 we can get in vitro fertilization, 5 tries. If I have $15,000 lying around somewhere, wop me in the head, OK?" Pete was bitter.Mary returned to the table. Her eyes were reddened. Now we knew why. "Isn't it terrible?" she said. "No children." You could.
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