Diary, when are you going to start helping me through this. So far all you have done is given me a painful callus on my tip knuckle of my middle finger. Looks really gross when I give some deserving individual the finger and hurts when I write too long or bump it unexpectedly.I am sitting here, Dear Diary, knowing I am a homosexual, yet I disgust myself for that knowledge. I gotta go do something. I am going crazy thinking about all this.Sun 10/24/04Oh Diary!!! Ricky took me to a gay restaurant, Deanna's Place. I never even thought about the possibility such places existed. Sure, I heard of gay bars and bathhouses, but places like that but never a restaurant. It was clear to see who wasn't gay among the patrons. They were three guys on a date with their girls. Lost in their own world for a while, it slowly dawned on them that many of the men around them were holding hands across the dinner table and leaning in for their intimate conversations, sharing moments only lovers share. The. The dress slacks were there as a suggested barrier, she wanted to be sexy but didn’t want to hang a for sale sign around her neck. Jess, just what do you think you’re doing? What if he’s a serial killer and you end up as the next episode of CSI. She looked back at herself in the mirror and shook her finger and said out loud ‘You watch way too much TV.’ But visions of the last time skittered across her mind, there had been so much blood. She took a deep breath and dabbed perfume behind each ear. He was waiting for her in the lobby of the restaurant. He watched her approach. The way she moved was glass and he wondered if she would dance with the same light grace. He could see the outline of her body as she moved, there was just a hint of her nipples poking through the silk top she was wearing…very sexy. He had changed into well fitting jeans and a white dress shirt open at the collar. For some reason white dress shirts on dark haired men was an irresistible combination to her. It.
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