Now, I confess that at best I have a poor perspective on feelings, and don’t understand them most of the time. Nevertheless, I realize that feelings are actually the nuts that fit the machine screws and bolts in the bucket. I simply have a hard time seeing how they thread together, but I know that no mechanism can work unless both the nuts and the bolts are securely fastened together with the appropriate tension. All that said, I suppose that I earned the bruise on the wrist by not fully understanding the systems that were at play in me—in effect, not having tightly connected the bolt with the nut. After a night of somewhat fitful sleep and waking to find myself thinking though all the factors that I understood, I decided that I would defer my departure for work from the normal 5 a.m. to around 7:15 when she left for work. Perhaps if I were to gallantly perform some service for her she would notice my existence. I thought about slashing a tire so that I could change it out for her,. " Forgive me, Mrs ... Amy. But aren't you a single mother? Oh, and please feel free to call me John." Yes, John, I am ... a widow. My ... husband left me well provided for. I've been working on a degree from home so I could be here for the twins, but that's nearly finished. There's a good school here in Felixstowe, and I have a good support network. I just thought ... oh, I don't know..."She trailed off. John Shepherd did not respond immediately."Mrs. Conway ... Amy ... could I come and see you this afternoon? I could be there in about an hour. Your children would be there?" Yes, and yes. Would you like to have some tea with us? It'll be pretty basic, sandwiches and so on." That would be good. Thank you. I'll see you shortly, then."He replaced the handset with an odd mixture of feelings; probably the greatest was 'unreality'. There was an element of 'hope' – he could have a solution to a serious problem, plus some 'concern' – that Amy Conway could be biting off more than she could.
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