I'm not a man, I'm not really awoman. I feel good, though. I'm letting my hair grow out." Again, superficial. How do you feel about those around you treatingyou like a woman?" Well, there's Aaron." The young man who brought you in, yes, I remember." When I first moved in with him, he was doing stuff like opening doorsfor me, but I told him not to, so he didn't. And as the days went on wegot on like two old buddies just hangin' out." So you're just friends with this man. You still aren't comfortablewith intimacy." Not--" she interrupted itself, "no. No, I'm really not. I mean, as aman, speaking mentally, I really want sex. I'll be honest, I look atvirtually all the pretty women I see; I can't shake that habit. Then Ithink about what sex would involve, like somebody invading my body. Andthat just doesn't seem right. So yeah, no, not comfortable." Are you defining yourself, then, as a lesbian?" Weelllll," the female strained and hesitated, "I don't know. I'll tellyou this. The other. Kick off the heels, you can run --its NYC, cabs everywhere! My heart is pounding, I swear they have to hear it. Great, we are here...The door opens and 5 guys are sitting there looking at me. Oh shit, I'm here, I think. I have to use the bathroom. Can I have a drink? Someone pours me some crap wine circa 1979 boones farm. I stand in this teeny tiny studio apt in 'the kitchen' while 7 guys are in 'the living room' talking me off the ledge. Wow nice guys, no one is coming near me. All just talking, hanging out. My breathing starts to slow and I finally agree to just sit down.As I sat there on the futon in this cramped space, I talked with all of these guys, probably for 10 mins or so. To this day, I'm not sure how one guy decided it was time to come kneel in front of me and kiss me. Though I can still see him approaching me in my minds eye. While he did, he reached up my skirt and began pulling down my panties. When the kiss was over, and he gently laid me back on the futon, I caught a.
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