When I allow someone to control me, they might feel like they are doing something to me, but the whole time I'm training my body to do what I want it to. It has taken a long time, but I have learned to control my body now, not the other way around." That make sense, in a crazy way. I've never thought about it like that." I just want you to know, whatever happens, that I have more things to work through. I can't have a normal job, just be someone's girlfriend, not with all I still feel. That man who raped me broke something inside me, Peter. My instant reaction to arousal is rage. It has taken me a long time to push through that feeling, to stop being so angry at my own body and the person I'm attracted to. I wouldn't bring this up at all, but tonight got me so spun up. You were kind enough to let me stay with you, I didn't want you to misunderstand." Damn. I have to tell you, just knowing you from work, you seem so together, so casual about things I'm still hung up on. I'd have never. I think I’ll be able to sleep now that I’ve gotten everything off my chest.”“I think so, too. You also need to get professional help. Your mom is going to arrange that tomorrow. You’re to go and you’re to do exactly what your therapist or counselor tells you to do.”“I will.”“You have to be honest with them, too. You have to tell them everything you’ve told me and anything you haven’t. I don’t need to know any more, though if you want to talk, I’ll listen.”“I promise! I’ll be honest!”“That means with everyone. I’m not talking about little white lies that don’t hurt anyone or even not saying something mean. You don’t have to be dumb about being honest and truthful, but no more lies or deception, Jennifer. None.”“Do you know how hard that’s going to be?” she whispered.“I know exactly how hard it will be. I’ve been through it myself. I know you’re scared. And I know that’s what your counselor is going to have to work on. You have to figure out exactly what it is that frightens you!”“How.
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