Hmmm, late January thaw, she thought. The roads will thaw but, then the bottom will drop out, and we will be plowing mud with the undercarriage when we try to drive to the main road. Oh well, that is the price you pay for the peace and quiet of the country.She could not help a sardonic snort escaping as she thought, Yeah, dead bodies showing up just like in the big city. At least black clouds sometimes have silver linings.Snuggling down under the covers, she let her mind wander over the things for which she had to be thankful. A little smile quirked one corner of her mouth as she thought of Pate. Giving her fantasies free rein, maybe today, she thought, maybe today.Noticing the sun trying to rise above the hills in the distance, he was glad this shift was about over. Trommer thought, It had been a long night, for that matter a long month, as he shifted position in the seat trying to ease his large, tired, body into a more comfortable spot in the seat, which felt as if it would need. " He was gay. He did it all his life and was miserable. None of us knewand..." She started crying. I handed her some tissues. "He was myfavorite brother. We were so close. I should have noticed something.He hung himself when he was around your age." She started crying again.I started too. "He didn't want to shame our family, at least that whathis note said. He hated himself and wanted to be free of his feelings. I don't want you to feel that way, Mel. If you need to change, then youwill. I want you to be happy, honey." She came over and gave me a hug.We cried for a long time."Thank you, mom." I love you, Mel." I love you, Mom."The following Monday I was sitting in Dr. Kirkland's office. Dr.Patricia Kirkland is a psychiatrist specializing in gender and sexualissues. The first few sessions I had with her were just question andanswer sessions between us. She wanted to know my history and wanted toknow all the background stories of my transgender behavior. I told herall my.
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