....The Perfect DumpEvery once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.The Beer DumpNasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a. Wethen had a chat in his office and he explained the first project I wouldbe assisting on. It was for a re-launch of a confectionary product by alarge public company and would involve posters, magazine advertising andtelevision commercial, all of which had to brand interlink. The firstjob of our team was to create a brand theme and we were all to submitour ideas. I went to my workstation and started to look at the companyonline. I received a call from Mrs. Clark who looks after HR for theCompany."There appears to be some mistake on your P45 employment document,Robin, it has you down as 'Mr.', sex 'Male'". She said."There is no mistake, it is correct" I said, noting the surprise on herface. "May I explain?" I rather think you will have to" She said. For the next half hour Iexplained my reasons and my philosophy of my life. She listened withinterest and without interruption, I concluded by saying "For thisreason, it is important that in the workplace I am considered to be awoman and I.
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