No, she decided, I've done enough fantasizing for one day. It's time to get out and shake off my depression before I really end up in the loony bin. She did not think she was headed for a breakdown, but as she got up to wash the breakfast dishes she sensed that unless things changed, the pattern of her life that is, no good would come of her burgeoning anxieties and dissatisfaction with the tenor of her existence."Want to romp in the park today, Bixie?" she asked her dog when the last of the breakfast dishes had been washed and set in the drainer to dry.Bix yawned and stretched his legs, his carrot-shaped black tail rising up jauntily, wagging this way and that as he trotted obediently behind her, back into the bedroom where she picked out the clothes she would wear that afternoon.Less than an hour later found her standing at the top of what New Yorkers had dubbed "Dog Hill," a denuded though still fairly grassy rounded hill which overlooked Fifth Avenue and the 79th Street entrance. You would be hard to replace as an assistant. Unfortunately, this business doesn't let me act on my irrational urges. If you turned out to be the most qualified to work in a secure role and I hired someone less qualified because I didn't want to lose you as my assistant, that person could be the lynchpin that causes the whole operation to collapse. Most businesses have a huge margin for incompetence built in. The security business has almost none. But, I would say to consider your request carefully before you make it." He pointed to the side of his skull, "Training for this kind of a security job gets in here. And, once it does, it colors the way you look at everything. You assess everything and everyone as a potential threat. And that never goes away."Masha nodded, but there was something in her face that told Thule she wasn't really getting what he was saying. He wished he could better express the constant fatigue that such an outlook engendered, how old it made him feel sometimes..
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