Letters and cards once plentiful and personal became fewer and almost generic. In my conversations with Hanna and even with Caitlin's parents, their responses were the same. Caitlin wasn't writing anyone very often anymore.I decided that I would give it one more really sincere shot. I began to write her and then scrapped what I had written and began again, repeating this every night for a week before I managed to get the words just right. As I finished, I realized that I was exhausted, mentally and emotionally, and for the first time in many, many months, I actually prayed that my efforts were not wasted.My dearest Caitlin,It seems like forever since I have been with you, heard your voice, held you in my arms or even seen you smile. I miss those things, and I miss you, terribly.Mickey and Sharon are in love, there is no doubt about it. He is such a changed person, for the better to be sure. Seeing him with her, or just hearing him speak of her and of them together reminds me so much. I finally explained to Mom and Chris about Millie and how I felt Mom asked if Millie knew of my feeling towards her I shook my head, Chris summed it up I had built Millie into a goddess and of course it came crashing down. Trying to be kind Chris used the normal statement there will be others just be patient. After a short while I was left on my own to cry out eventually mom brought up some food but I didn’t feel like eating Mom left the plate and as she left the room I heard her say ‘we have all been though it with our so called friends’I spent a crying night unable to sleep I couldn’t do anything except cry at two in the morning Mom came into the room with two mugs of hot milk sitting on my bed she passed one to me we sat in silence my tears drying on my face. After she turned back the duvet lying beside me she slipped her around my shoulders and hugged me kissing my hair ‘sleep princess it will be better in the morning’ Finally I drifted off safe in my Mothers embrace.When I awoke.
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