The sound of this was soothing. My buzz was soothing. “I really need to pee. Come with me?” She asked with soft upward tone.For some reason, with a nod, I grabbed purse and she led me to the ladies’ room. I had known this shadowy woman for the whole time it took me to suck down half a rum and coke, spoke four sentences with her, half of which were about fingering ourselves, and now I was about to piss with her. Normally, this would make no sense, but in my new world I figured, go with the flow. I pointed to her tank top. “What are you painting, anyway?” I asked forcefully, competing with the noise of the bar, as we squeezed to the left through a party of college k**s. She didn’t answer but took control of my hand in her haste to use bathroom. I completely understood what really needing to pee was like. As she moved through the crowd, her tight, black sweatpants revealed a weary complexion; covered in paint dots, stretched out like a distressed skin over her round, full ass. She. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of three. Everyone agreed that was good.But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.Then the three men turned to the Civil Servant and said, “What can your cat do?”The Civil Servant called his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet. He ate all the cookies, drank the milk, and crapped on the paper. The he screwed the other three cats ... Claimed he injured his back while doing it ... Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions...Put in for compensation and went home for.
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