”“It’s not what you think….nobody knows what really happened”“So then…” She cut him off“I was in a relationship with someone else who had just turned 18. So I couldn’t tell his name because he would wind up in jail”“So you were in love with him?”“So to speak….. YES. He loved me in a way that was different from all the other men I knew”“You make it sound like, you slept with quite a few…” He smiled at her knowing that she had hardly ever slept with anyone.“…MEN?” she completed the sentence for him.“Actually I have, but most of them ****d me. He was the only one who didn’t **** me”“OK…” He muttered, not knowing what else to say. Realizing that not saying anything else would come off as rude, he asked the lamest question left to ask“So, this friend of yours… have you kept in touch with him?”“Of and on, but not recently”“Why didn’t you just marry him, then?”“He was young and he needed to complete school”“Is that the reason you married me?” He asked exasperatedlyShe looked away from him. I know, and I did, I agree and continue on.I came back and found them even more mad than before I left. They were not even hiding it anymore, just taking over, gaining power and territory. The others were talking about how to handle them. I tried to explain and see if I could talk to the Mahy, but that did not work. Not even Vashe. He no longer felt bad for what he was doing.Oh love, I am so sorry, he says.I feel his grief and horror at what I had to endure. But there is more, still more.It was not enough to block the power, they had to be stopped, I say, continuing on. I went to the rest of the orders and offered my help. Thankfully the Mahy is - was a small order, it was easy to find all of them.Oh goddess, Nimrod says as he starts to shudder.I betrayed them and help kill each and everyone. I saved Vashe for last, I had hoped I could get through. I did not want to but he left me no choice, my voice chokes up as I remember the self loathing of my actions.Shush, itÕs alright, itÕs.
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