I'd been a boy for almost fourteen years, except when I was really little, but that didn't count. Babies aren't really people yet. They're just babies. When I was old enough to know what I was, I'd been a boy. Then I started having sex, like something new had woken up inside me, and I'd had a lot of sex and really fast. So at first I'd wanted to be a boy still and have boy sex and that was okay, except I liked other boys. So I'd thought I was a fag, right? You can't be a boy forever and then just wake up one day and be a girl. It doesn't work and probably that was why I'd felt so broken sometimes.That was starting to make sense and I smiled underneath the hot shower.I'd been thinking like a boy and trying to be a boy, even though I'd been changing. It was like when I got my first period. I knew for sure I wasn't a boy then, but I'd fought it and ignored it, and just told myself I was still a boy inside and my body didn't matter. That had worked for a year, almost two years, but. There, just as he said, they were on a shelf by thetable. I crossed the room to grab a pop... then thought I should ask."Hey Chip!" What?" His call sounded far away."Do you want the whole case or just a couple?" I shouted, my voiceechoing against the cement walls."I don't care... bring up a case I guess," he shouted back.I started to pull out the case and something fell onto the floor. Iswung my arms away and saw that it was a magazine. I sat the case of popdown and picked it up off of the floor. "Allure," I said reading thecover.I quickly flipped through the pages and decided that this particularissue was devoted to cosmetics and nail care. I tossed it onto the tablenext to the case and it flipped open to an advertisement. I paused tolook, it was of a type of nail polish that had diamond like dust in theenamel. On it was a woman's hand adorned with the shiny polish, herhands were slim and each nail was perfectly manicured.I started to throw the book back on the shelf and noticed the.
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