Before slipping them on, I nervously checked my pockets; the ten shilling note, now crumpled and damp, was still there, along with a jangling handful of change. He was ahead of me, already tapping his feet, The Big O already filling his head. An eager nod of encouragement bade me copy him. Swirling strings drew me onto tiptoes. This was my boyfriend; this was our music; our moment. I closed my eyes and kissed his mouth; pressed my breasts against him and left him in no doubt of how I felt about him. United in acoustic isolation and half-hidden by shadow, we shared two minutes seven inches of heaven. At the counter, I proffered my wrinkled note, but he closed his hand around mine, already had the six and eleven counted out and ready to drop into the assistant's welcoming palm. Record and receipt slid into the shop's distinctive red and green paper bag and were reverentially passed to him. Time slowed and stopped. The crowd ceased pushing and fell silent. Moist eyes smiling, he kissed. Turning off the Television my wife gazed at me quizzically. Following my eye line she saw the book resting on the floor, what was to her innocuous was pregnant with memory for me. Before she could speak, I did. I said ‘I found this on the train, with it we will change our collective lives.’ ‘How? Why?’ she asked. ‘It already changed mine once, I’m confident it can again.’ I replied ‘But, how can that be, I know you!’ she said become concerned. ‘I never lie to you, you know that, but in this case I was lying to myself most of all,’ I replied hastily ‘I decided that my past was so unlike everyone else’s that I simply shouldn’t speak of it. For years I created a way of life, this meant not only physical control but also mental control.’ I explained ‘Withholding this from you was only part of it.’ Continuing I said, ‘I convinced myself that my upbringing was like everyone else’s and created my own back-story. This is the story I told everyone, not only you.’ ‘You had better explain.
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