I felt distant and dislocated, observing the scene from outside my body, studying the diorama of two girls on a collision course of pure need. I watched myself stand before her, hands held stiffly by my sides, fingers closing into little fists, then opening. I saw the expression on my face as I gazed down at my best friend."Are you sure?" my eyes seemed to say."Yes," replied Laura's own eyes. She gave a little nod, to emphasize the point.And then I was kneeling, the intervening moment lost in a dizzying haze. Her foot was achingly close, inches from my body. I wanted to reach out, to touch her, to end this four year long fantasy that I'd been living, to embrace the reality of it, but I couldn't move. "What are you waiting for?" said Laura, from a million miles away. Her voice was heavy, impatient, laced with as much desire as I felt in my own body. The air felt electric, charged and alive. She lifted her foot and held it in the air before my face. I closed my eyes and rocked back,. We had to shout our greetings in one anothers ears.She had dyed her hair a deep red. Her pouty lips were of the same fire-engine hue. She wore a slinky pale pink body dress. Every curve richly accentuated. I told her she looked gorgeous."Thanks, so do you."I was rocking boy clothes: jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and a newsboy cap. But I also wore my smoky eye-shadow and my lashes were painted, long, delicate and flirty.We moved out to the patio so we could hear each other talk. I could see Gary at the other end, oblivious to us, talking with his friends."Where have you been? Are you mad at me?" No it's just work and Abby was taking up a lot of my time. But that's over. She went back to her boyfriend." Aww I'm so sorry, I know you really liked her." She hugged me again. This time we held each other for a few moments. Her hair smelled like strawberries."Anyway you're not the only one having relationship trouble. " Something wrong with you two?" Yes..No...I don't know. It's something I.
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