It wasn't my first video though, was it? I'd jilled my clit on my web cam plenty of times, that was porn, and I'd done it for a stranger. So what was the difference between then and now? I'd been happy then and eager to do it. I felt like a hypocrite, like a fake who takes the high moral ground when it's convenient, but when nobody's looking ... I felt those feelings again, even though I wished I didn't. I felt that rush of excitement posing for a white man gave me. I was a liar, that part of me said, a dirty slut pretending to be an angel.I undressed for the camera, not doing anything especially sexy. Not doing a strip tease, but keeping my eyes down and burning with humiliation. That was part of my lie too, the embarrassment I felt. I know I have a nice body, just as I knew it then. I'm pretty and attractive and sexy just standing still and I had nothing to be ashamed of, except that I was doing it in front of four strangers and a camera. Countless unknown men would see me in the. You all heard about that horrible man in the parking lot. Just imagine, a church parking lot. He tried to beat me up and he would have beaten me if my Jimmy hadn't protected me. That man came here to make trouble because Brother Friend would not bow down to the crooked politicians."Jimmy handed her the guitar and she strummed and began to sing play, "Stand up, stand up for Jesus ... Let's all stand up for Jesus and sing together. Come on now, join with me." She started over and slowly the members of the congregation stood and sang with her. Reverend Friend felt himself ready to salivate as he watched her play the crowd.Two men in the back began to heckle her. "With a voice like that you sure make a lie sound good." Another voice called, "Go back where you came from. We got enough women like you already hangin' around downtown."Jimmy was outside the spotlight, unseen by the audience. Unnoticed, stood up and left the stage. Ruby sang over the disruptive voices while Friend turned the.
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