I’m not here to teach you how to be perfect. I’m just going to teach you how to judge what you can and can’t get away with. For instance, there are a lot of hot young girls on this campus. I see you girls walking around in those tight pants and I just want to take a big ‘ole bite out of one of those tight asses.”“But,” you continue, “I can’t get away with that. I can’t afford the lawyers to keep me out of jail and I can’t afford to retire after I’m fired. I know this, I’ve accepted this. so I work hard and someday I’ll have saved up enough so I’ll march out on the Quad and bite some hot young Freshman girl’s ass.”Nervous laughter sparks up throughout the auditorium.“And that’s what I’m hear to teach you how to do. To figure out how to not have more fun than you can get away with.”The lecture goes well and you head back to your office. When your office hours roll around you hear a knock on your door.“Come in!”A young man enters. He’s so incredibly normal looking that you’re. I grabbed my carry on and headed to the gate agent handing her my boarding pass. Since the flight wasn't very full there wasn't much of a line to board the plane. As I stepped aboard I noticed the usual collection of frequent flyer types seated in first class sipping their complimentary beverages. The fellow tech consultants who were paying thief dues always stand out to me, only a few years ago I was one of them. Platinum status, automatic upgrades, especially on something as mundane as the Friday night Boston-Detroit route. However, three years behind a desk and I was now heading to coach. Still on an underbooked flight I'd probably have a whole row to myself. As I made my way past the curtain separating coach from first class I noticed the redhead from the waiting area just a few rows ahead sitting by the window. I was much closer than before and could see her sparkling green eyes and the shamrock tattoo peeking above the neckline of her blouse just to the right of her.
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