Linda held me. Lisa and Annie joinedus, as did my mom. From each of them, I could feel a love that made a lie ofJohn's words. Love poured from them over my tortured soul, soothing, and healingmy own self doubts."I think that's enough for a while," Norma said, sniffing back her own tears."I'm sure Saul will be talking you through this for months. I will tell you thatyour feelings are exactly what perverts like John hope for; pain and shame sogreat that the victim never comes forward."Linda suggested a nap, and I was grateful to snuggle up to her.It seemed like I had just closed my eyes, when Linda was gently shaking me."Hey, want to come down to dinner?" she asked."No, I just want to go back to sleep."Linda laughed, "Okay. Let me put it another way, It's time to come down todinner!" and she pulled the covers off."Do I have to dress?" I moaned."Nope, just slip your robe back on, and some slippers."Linda helped me with the robe and brushed out my hair. She called for Annie andthe two. Because her father was a child molester. Because she’d shot him 15 years ago. The screen door slammed shut and she jumped as if it was the shot she’d fired so long ago. It echoed in her mind and the smell of cordite burned in her nostrils. It had been his .45 that she had found hidden in the ratty folds of the his recliner and she remembered how her heart had pounded in her chest as she gingerly handled the silver gun, her dirty, bitten fingernails rubbing the long barrel as if it spoke to her. Security, it said. Freedom, it whispered. And she listened. The stairs going up to her room creaked in all the very same places as before as she traced the steps that her drunken father would take. She would be lying in her tiny bed, ducking her head under the covers when she heard the heavy, uneven steps. Sometimes he’d even sing to her on the way to rape her. Cassie, how I love ya, how I love ya, my sweet girl, Cassie! The tears burned her eyelids as she screwed them shut, her teeth fixed in.
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