Allen said "Andunderstand, you will live with us as a girl. Dresses and panties for youfrom now on. You will be treated as a girl in all ways. You will cook,clean, sew and use the bathroom as a girl. Everything will be femininefor you from today on. You will be forbidden to wear pants, of any kind.You will serve at our parties and we will farm you out to yourStepmother or our friends as the need arises. You will serve anyone whoasks you to in any way they dictate. You will do as told, not as youwish. Do I make myself clear?" Yes sir and I agree" I said"Good" my Stepmother said "You will return home tonight and packanything feminine and return here within two hours. The Allen's willhave your room ready for you and you will move in. Tomorrow, you willcancel the lease on your apartment. I will have your things placed instorage." Ok" was my reply and I was given a swat with the paddle."You will address us as Sir or Madam at all times and you will curtsy asyou enter or exit a room" Mr. Mostly we sneak down to New York and go to clubs to see bands. They never card, so it’s no problem for us to get in.”“What’s your parents’ take on all this?” I asked.“We fought about it at first, but then they let it go when they decided I wasn’t going to kill myself or do drugs. They don’t mind if I drink and smoke.”“How did you decide that all there is in the world is death and decay?”“Just look around! Have you known anyone who died?”“I have. When I was fifteen, my girlfriend died. My mentor, an older guy I was really close to, died about three-and-half-years ago. Then about a year-and-a-half ago, a very, very close friend died.”“So you really understand, then? There is no god. There isn’t anything. Just death.”I put down my fork and took a drink of my 7-Up.“It’s not that simple,” I said. “I guess you’ve accepted it, but I’m fighting it. Opposite responses. I don’t know if there is one god, or many gods, or no gods. I’m searching for answers, and I think there are some out.
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