." Stanley," Lisa said, "look at her! Erica is a girl! That's obvious,right?" I suppose. But I want to hear it from her that she is a girl. Fred isin love and since he is my friend I don't want him hurt!"They all looked at me. "I was born a boy, but I'm a girl now, andalways will be." Okay, I guess, you sure look like a girl to me!" Stanley, you're an idiot! Erica is a girl and you know it. Now, letsall get a pizza and celebrate!" Celebrate what?" I asked."You deciding to be the person you always were of course! Everyone knewthat you were a girl, I mean, you always dressed like half a girlanyway, so this is not a stretch and Stanley was yanking your chain tosee what you would do. So, now that we have that out of the way, letsgo!"Janet said that I could go, if I changed first, so Lisa, Carol and Iwent to my room where I put on a pair of skinny jeans and a pink top.Then the three of us joined the guys to get a pizza. I did not see Lisaand Carol wink at Fred, letting him know that from. . desperately, passionately wanted her.Over coffee at breakfast I struggled with myself. For three consecutive days I'd taken Keira out for the day. We'd talked and done no more than hold hands. I hadn't even kissed her. The power of my dream, its intensity, and the desire I'd experienced, were warning bells. If I was this enamored with her after holding her hand and just being with her, what would happen if I kissed her? I couldn't ignore that she was underaged and, based on my reactions, there was a big chance I might not care if I ever actually kissed her. I was teetering even now.I envisioned the embarrassment I'd feel if our developing relationship was revealed, my co-workers disapproval, my mother's disappointment, Keira's family's disgust. The fact that those thoughts didn't bother me was an indication of how smitten I was. It had to stop. It might be as hard as kicking a cocaine habit but I had to stop. There was too much at stake for Keira and for me.Absentmindedly I reached.
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