On each side of the horse stood two large black mendressed in black leather bicycle shorts and black tank tops. Several ropes hungfrom the ceiling rafters and I could only imagine what they were going to beused for. I hadn?t even noticed who was seated there already awaiting ourarrival. When I did I was mortified. Cole had gathered together people from theneighborhood, like Mrs. Parkinson and her husband. She was the local librarian.There was also the Davidson?s from church, the lawn guy and his two helpers,our accountant Bill, and Alice from the gym I went to as well as Jan and Ed.Whatever Cole had planned for this night he was right, I would be tested; atest of my own dignity. ??? ?And now ladiesand gentlemen, for both your entertainment and enjoyment this evening, I giveyou Jill. Jill, will you kindly strip for us leaving your shoes and stockingson please.???? Remembering whatCole had told me earlier, I followed his instructions. I removed my littleblack dress and then my thong. I. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit.)11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.13. Glibido: All talk and no action.14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply.
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