She was working the next day and then had tworostered days off. He opened his rape kit and double checked everythingwas in order. The lingerie and heels he had purchased for his next victimwas still in its packaging so he unpacked it and put one set of everythinginto the large Ziploc bags ready for use and laid the other set aside forhis own personal use later.He packed everything back into the trunk of his hire car and drove aroundthe city until he found a suitable vehicle parked in a long term parkinglot and stole the plates.Now he was ready. He would spend the next day attending to business andif all went well he would spend the next night and most of the next dayattending to Ellen Wright.The next evening he waited until he was certain that she was home andsettled in for the evening and the street was clear. It was dark and coldand the streets were uninviting which worked in his favour. Michael wasdressed in his tracksuit, beanie and gloves with his fanny pack around. ‘I’m so sorry for fucking this up, Ella,’ he tells me and I hear the regret like a weight. I remember licking green popsicle juice from my chin, sitting on my parents’ porch swing, waiting for the moment we could run through the sprinkler and scream to make the mean neighbours scowl and the nice ones smile and recall their youth. ‘Who said you fucked anything up, Ben?’ I ask and this time look at him, at his eyes under wet hair and eyelashes. And then I do know. I didn’t need that first kiss to know, or this week of torture. I just needed this look he was giving me now. Eyes squinting against something he can’t bear, looking like he hasn’t slept in a week, and yet still looking at me because I’m what he wants to look at. Even soaking in the rain. ‘I don’t think I know how to be around you anymore, Ella,’ he admits and his voice catches. Terror brushes my heart like icy fingers. ‘You can’t go, Ben. Fuck that. No, I won’t let you go.’ ‘I can’t pretend anymore, though.’ His glare is.
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